Past Reality Integration --the power and peril of deep feeling

For many, their current life situation and level of wellness is strongly shaped by their past unconscious reality. This of course is psychodynamic psychology 101. The challenge has been, and is how to make this old, generally traumatic material, conscious,-- how to integrate it and heal.

Now, wellness behavior change is based on awareness and knowledge of the healthiest choices. Unfortunately, information is not enough and by itself almost never leads to real, lasting transformation. Enter past reality integration. You might be saying to yourself that this does not apply to me or I have done therapy and counseling. Great!, if you think you have worked through all your issues and integrated all your old stuff, or at least enough so that your life and relationships are functional and generally positive, then find a wellness coach who can help you build on what is working in your life and help you discover the ways and means to reach your wellness goals.

If on the other other hand , an honest look reveals that your wellness behavior patterns are best described by the rhetorical recovery question, "What is the definition of insanity?"--doing the same (or similar) thing over and over and expecting (or hoping) for a different result! Well, then you might be interested.

Try this. For one week, notice and write down when you experience a strong feeling or reaction to some event or person. This is usually and easily noticed in relationships with significant others or people in authority (i.e. your boss) Try/pray to be very open, humble, honest, and courageous to name your experience. Keep your descriptions simple, like scared, angry, sad, etc. Then write down what you did, either internally or externally in response to the event/person. Once you have noticed for a while, try feeling the feeling underneath the feeling-- the real old reality. Warning: this can be very difficult and seemingly scary. I say seemingly because if the level of emotion is very strong, the present moment situation is likely symbolic for you and triggering/reminding you of an old painful reality that you did not process when you were little. Remind yourself with positive self talk like: "I am an adult, and I am safe and these feelings will pass," or have a friend sit with you to ground you in your present situation.

Remember the feelings are not really about the current situation. Once you have done this for a while you will start to see the world as brighter, clearer and a place for your un-defended True Self to joyously participate! And a competent therapist can obviously be very helpful. If you are intrigued by what I have been describing, but really don't understand my meager explanations, try purusing Dr. Ingeborg Bosch's site and work Past Reality Integration. She is the expert and I have found her work to be brilliant and personally very helpful.

We are not caught in the iron grip of the past.
We are caught in the iron grip of the illusion that we need to
protect ourselves against what happened in the past.

Ingeborg Bosch

Peace, All Good and Happy Spring!

Love and Wellness

No one ever really heals or changes unless there is an encounter with love. Definitely, this has been my experience with healing and change. This is rather universal, although not often recognized as foundational to a great change of behavior. We know something has happened and we are healed, changed. The need for sugar and carbs is gone, the willingness, desire, and practical path to move and challenge our bodies is just “there.” It is as if our being, our soul received an energetic shot from somewhere and where that is we cannot say and we now see the world differently and our consciousness is more full and present. What happened?

From my point of view, the hound of heaven has caught up to you and a bit more of your false self has died and been properly buried. From this burial, the True Self comes out from the shadows with a bit more presence. This happens through other people most powerfully when the flow between is complete and the circuit is open.

Looking at the keys to success articulated by therapist, counselors, coaches, spiritual directors, and enlightened witnesses you hear that they were most effective and felt their healing gifts really flow when they were most powerfully present to love and loving the person. The words were more clear, the tone pitch perfect, and most appropriate. This appropriateness showed with just the right touch into the hurt.

One of the key concepts that forms the basis of health promotion and wellness programming is the idea of "Readiness to Change." For any behavior change, at a particular moment we are on a continuum from not ready, to contemplating change, to doing the change, to maintaining the new behavior with confidence. The space between the stages is where an encounter with some other in love happens or as Martin Buber said, "all real living (change) is meeting the other." The place where we fall into intimacy, with our fear and hurt and are transformed by love. We now move with more confidence, and are more open to life. If you listen carefully and deeply to stories of true change the encounter with the other is always there in sometimes very subtle and in surprising ways. The parent who has struggled with quitting tobacco and staying quit encounters the innocence and beauty of his or her five year old child taking the cigarettes and flushing them down the toilet. The moment is blessed and the child's pure simple stance, connection, and the words break open the heart and mind of the parent. The parent is forever changed and discovers the willingness, support, and resources-- and changes.

Look for these encounters, trust these encounters. The hound of heaven is after you seeking, nudging, and appearing in ways so that you can believe a bit more convincingly that love and change may be as close as the next breath... what a Sweet Thing!:



Happy Valentine's Day!

Bacon: the new health food...say what?!

There is a current T.V. commercial where the middle aged male character pines for the morning when he wakes up and discovers that bacon is "good for us!" Well, that day has arrived--with qualifications.

The lipid hypothesis as a prime dietary driver for heart disease and cancer, has been firmly in our collective consciousness for a generation. We all know the dogma---low-fat, low cholesterol and especially low saturated fat (read animal fat bad, especially red meat) high fiber, high plant based carbohydrates are what we should eat to avoid heart disease, cancer and live a long life. This thinking, which I have preached and taught for twenty five years, was and is one of the foundational ideas of the health promotion and wellness field! And IMHO is basically wrong and not helpful. Science writer Gary Taubes, 2007 book, Good Calories, Bad Calories provides the painstaking, tedious deconstruction of the original Public Health, diet, and nutrition research over the last forty years. Here he is on Larry King:




Let me say, that my overall worldview about diet and health is best characterized in the words of St. Francis, "When I am served partridge, I eat partridge and when I am served porridge, I eat porridge." But sadly, our lives our filled with too much cortisol (stress hormone) not enough muscular stress, and a high carb diet filled with substances that St. Francis would not recognize and cause systematic inflammation and compromise our leptin and insulin sensitivity, hormonal processes that regulate the use and storage of fats and carbs. So many of us should not eat whatever is put in front of us.

It is turning out that the most nasty bits to avoid are the real biochemical toxins found in wheat, industrial seed oils ( all the partially hydrogenated or plain corn, sunflower, soy, cottonseed oil, etc.) and fructose ( table sugar, excessive fruit and fruit juice) These three categories make up 70% of the standard American diet, and their consumption has increased dramatically over the last thirty years. And we see and know the results with obesity levels very high and diabetes poised to financially crush the healthcare system in the near future.

Building on the low carb fad of five years ago, and adding thinking from evolutionary anthropology and critical, objective reading of biochemical nutritional research, a new way of thinking about nutrition and health is emerging. The current popularity of gluten free eating and growth in the marketing of gluten free products is one important piece. And it really is much more about anti-inflammatory whole food eating that comes under the name paleo eating or the caveman diet. There are a number of well done sites, books and blogs, the best of which you can find under my recommendations. Here is a good starting summary. And for my Christian friends and family, here and here are good article explaining how this new thinking is congruent with scriptural references to bread and diet. So, it is about time for Sunday breakfast and ahh, bacon sounds yummy and yes --good!

Peace and All good!

The W.O.W. and R.I.P. Jack Lalanne

What is the best exercise? I have been asked that question hundreds of times. And instead of the usual quip,

Whatever you will do with consistency

I now have a better answer --more specifics in a moment. The question itself has been one of those perennial question that I have wrestled with over the years. I mean what is the point of exercise and why do we engage, what do we get out of it? And what does it have to do with our metaphysical, incarnational existence? It really has come down to what can we do to maintain our functional health, strength and energy level to carry out our soul's vocation. Keeping this functional health will allow a more serving response to the world. As François Fenelon states in "Maxims of the Saints" perhaps we will be a bit more, "... accessible and pliable to all the impressions of grace." ‏And for those of us in the second half of life, hopefully we are discovering as Richard Rohr says, "Our life is not about us, we are about life." And to be about life means to be able to functionally act in ways that serve "what is" right in front of us in an ever deepening,surprising,wondrous way.

The paraphrased quote attributed to Einstein,

I do not know what the final truth will be, but I do know that it will be beautiful and simple

comes to mind. Obviously Einstein was pondering the question of existence, and though some have argued that he was not pondering the transcendent, IMHO he was. And truth is constantly being poured out to us in specific areas of life in ever more clear, beautiful and powerful ways.

The Body by Science high intensity strength training concept is elegant and simple, and may be a bit more of that truth for you! It boils down to this: Pick three to five resistance machines at your local gym/fitness center that work large groups of muscles, i.e. chest press, pull down, seated row, overhead press and leg press. Set the machines for a resistance that you believe you can keep moving very slowly (5-10 secs. positive, 5-10 secs negative) with, safe appropriate form for 60 to 120 secs. And keep the focus until you have reached, " momentary muscular failure" Warning! This is very high intensity exercise, but as long as you have no physician ordered limitations you will be fine. And here is the kicker, the whole workout takes 10-15 minutes and is repeated once, yes once! every 7-14 days!
This is the W.O.W. Workout of The Week!. Full disclosure: I have been doing this since early October and I am stronger, more flexible, and have minimal to zero middle aged, morning aches and pains. And for those who do not know me well, I am not one easily swayed by hype and have a pretty sharp bull**** indicator. Of all the hype and nonsense marketed as anti-aging, strength training is the only thing with any sound proof behind it.

For those of you who are not familiar with strength training and are apprehensive about physically challenging yourself, take heart. Familiarize yourself with the machines, with a competent helper/trainer getting comfortable with the movements and how your body react with some lower intensity sessions a couple a times a week for a few weeks. Then when you are starting to feel comfortable and you understand "good" muscle soreness and realize that your life will never allow you 2-3hrs a week at the gym, you can graduate to the W.O.W. and spend 30 minutes total time every 7-14 days!

Here is Dr. Doug McDuff demonstrating the W.O.W.:



Finally, I could not get through the week without a tribute to a pioneer and an American original. R.I.P. Jack Lalanne:



Peace and All Good!

Sleep, wellness and cookies ??

I have been thinking about sleep and how the amount and type of sleep we get impacts and affects our level of wellness and what role sleep plays in intuition. To state what is obvious to many of you, most Americans are sleep deprived or do not sleep well. Good, sound sleep that allows for dreaming is one of the key taproots to building and living a healthier life. Good sleep gives us more “space” for our lives. Let me explain.

Of course sleep allows our bodies to physically recover. Dreaming which is apparently on average of two hours a night is also important. While there are many functional theories regarding dreaming, what is perhaps most important for wellness is how dreaming allows our minds to make deeper sense of the events of the day and fit them in a larger realm. I noticed when I was not sleeping enough a few years ago, I did not dream or I had no easily recalled memory of the content of my dreams. And more importantly I did not feel as well. Sleep and dreaming help immensely to balance our lives by integrating our emotions with our physiological processes thus jettisoning the junk and help us to connect to our deeper selves and therefore more fully into that place where the good, the true, and the beautiful infinitely lives. Think of this balancing like what is necessary and what happens when we are carrying a dish of water and we are trying to not spill it. The individual ripples are the emotions, thoughts and behaviors that affect the whole dish which is the infinite world of sleep and dreaming and the energy and movement of this whole amount of water effects the structure and size of the ripples and “absorbs” their information and energy.

What does this have to do with intuition? Well, the ability to notice, listen to and honor our intuitions play a very important role in making sense of our lives and being able to consistently make healthy choices. If we have not slept well, we are more easily agitated and cannot think clearly the next day. We have to spend more of our precious daily allotment of energy managing yesterdays events. We are less likely to see and experience the abundance in the here and now and are more easily swayed to choose unhealthy foods or forgo our exercise for the day. In fact my intuition is telling me I need to get a bit more sleep this morning or those cookies from the kids party yesterday will look like breakfast!

Health and the Abundance “Secret”

In some of my recent web wanderings, I have again been stumbling onto that great American health promise. We all know that with a change in attitude and a pinch of optimism, abundant health and particularly weight loss is just around the corner for you! today!…NOW!!

First what we have here is the classic capitalistic power of marketing and promotion. Second, this adult “rational” pitch is on top of a more powerful trigger to our unrecognized, unconscious childhood feelings of false hope and false power. So the choice to buy the product or service is really for a need from long ago and is therefore destined to disappoint and fail. We fail to act consistently in a healthy manner, as the “five easy steps to a healthy diet/exercise habit/sustained weight loss plan” don’t work for us.

Why do we “fall” for these pitches and promotions? In part we fall because our amygdala, which is that part of our brain, which stores our primal emotional scripts, hijacks our rational neo-cortex. Our neo-cortex is that part of our noggin which already knows the core content and information of the health plan offering. This hijacking happens quickly and depending on our level of tiredness “feels” urgent if not essential. We are into primal fight or flight and we must act.!

This illustrates why most behavior change initiatives fail and shows another view of how the false self operates and fails the True Self’s essential and inherent healthy character.


We are not caught in the iron grip of the past.
We are caught in the iron grip of the illusion that we need to
protect ourselves against what happened in the past.

Ingeborg Bosch

True Self and the freedom to choose health

The True Self ...what the heck is it and how does this unique essence in each of us impact our physical, mental, and emotional selves. This key question will be the focus of this blog. I thank you for joining me and sense that this relationship between you the reader and your humble servant :) will help each of us and those relations and groups that are part of our daily lives.

As I read somewhere your True Self is like a light. A pilot light to be exact that was turned on when each of us were conceived and incarnated. The challenge of course is that a pilot light is small and needs other fuel to burst into the true inferno that our lives, bodies, emotions, and thinking are designed for. Hopefully this blog will be fuel to burn away the demons, the held bodily pain, the incorrect negative thinking, and transform our little, fallen natures into a more highly functioning, healthy, present being grounded in "what is" and vulnerable to grace.

The freedom to make healthy choices seems at first pass to be rather simple process. We take in information about say the value of exercise, decide to act and we are off and running or cycling (my favorite) or anything else we fancy. And yet most people quickly discover that regular exercise, 3 or 4 times a week is difficult for most. What are the excuses or stumbling blocks that get in the way and stymie our efforts? The false self is the major stumbling block that informs and drives our thinking and our unhealthy choices. The false self wanders around mostly asleep and reactive searching aimlessly for programs and processes for happiness and health that ultimately do not bear any long lasting fruit. And yet that is where we find ourselves much of the time. We try this diet, we start this exercise program, we make this resolution or promise and we get excited or inspired for a short period of time. But the reality is that we are not providing our pilot lights with the appropriate fuel.

On of the most intriguing aspects of the True Self is that it really cannot be harmed like the false self. The True Self contains the appropriate amount of ego to be truly effective and yet connected to our deepest essence that is one with G_d.

When we seem to possess and use our being and natural faculties in a completely autonomous manner, as if our individual ego were the pure source and end of our own acts, then we are in illusion and our acts [health choices], however spontaneous they may seem to be, lack spiritual meaning and authenticity.
Thomas Merton (quoted from page 36 here)