Now, wellness behavior change is based on awareness and knowledge of the healthiest choices. Unfortunately, information is not enough and by itself almost never leads to real, lasting transformation. Enter past reality integration. You might be saying to yourself that this does not apply to me or I have done therapy and counseling. Great!, if you think you have worked through all your issues and integrated all your old stuff, or at least enough so that your life and relationships are functional and generally positive, then find a wellness coach who can help you build on what is working in your life and help you discover the ways and means to reach your wellness goals.
If on the other other hand , an honest look reveals that your wellness behavior patterns are best described by the rhetorical recovery question, "What is the definition of insanity?"--doing the same (or similar) thing over and over and expecting (or hoping) for a different result! Well, then you might be interested.
Try this. For one week, notice and write down when you experience a strong feeling or reaction to some event or person. This is usually and easily noticed in relationships with significant others or people in authority (i.e. your boss) Try/pray to be very open, humble, honest, and courageous to name your experience. Keep your descriptions simple, like scared, angry, sad, etc. Then write down what you did, either internally or externally in response to the event/person. Once you have noticed for a while, try feeling the feeling underneath the feeling-- the real old reality. Warning: this can be very difficult and seemingly scary. I say seemingly because if the level of emotion is very strong, the present moment situation is likely symbolic for you and triggering/reminding you of an old painful reality that you did not process when you were little. Remind yourself with positive self talk like: "I am an adult, and I am safe and these feelings will pass," or have a friend sit with you to ground you in your present situation.
Remember the feelings are not really about the current situation. Once you have done this for a while you will start to see the world as brighter, clearer and a place for your un-defended True Self to joyously participate! And a competent therapist can obviously be very helpful. If you are intrigued by what I have been describing, but really don't understand my meager explanations, try purusing Dr. Ingeborg Bosch's site and work Past Reality Integration. She is the expert and I have found her work to be brilliant and personally very helpful.
We are not caught in the iron grip of the past.Peace, All Good and Happy Spring!
We are caught in the iron grip of the illusion that we need to
protect ourselves against what happened in the past.